BEYOND BEYOND #73 (the shame i feel)

I can hear you telling me not to dwell
Yet still I want the last few weeks
To disappear,
I wish I could get in a Delorean
Go back to last month
When you came up to me
Gave me a goodbye hug,
The irony in that hug
My friend,
O the irony! !!
I can’t help but think of you
Just wanting to talk to you,
It hurts beyond my marrow,
Aches to the isolated
Corners of my pathetic soul! !!
I can hear you tell me not to dwell
But it is this brutal pain that swells,
I just want to pull you to the side
And ask if it was all a dream,
I more then anything
Want to get back on stage,
I don’t mean to wallow
But I would grovel
You are a precious earth quake
And wondrous volcano
In my my still born still life! !!
I don’t want to be that guy
In the corner wanting to see you,
And us being strangers
I know my actions
Selfish as they were
Deserve reaction,
I am hollow and lost in this city
That I love,
That rots like a decaying carcass
Of nothing that will be.
I never asked for your heart
Or hand,
But now all I want is to be around
YOU-
& in that reflection and recognition
I must go to the windy city…
Because of you I see my past
Without delusion,
I want you around in the present
But only the future will reveal
That truth! !!
We are our form-
Hopefully we have more wads to blow,
You penetrated my armour
Without even trying,
Now I just got to write it all the bones down,
You are always in my marrow
I may have not asked for your love
But you have touched me deep,deep deep
Inside my mind,soul
& heart! !!

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